It was a snowy Christmas Eve and Santa was alone in his workshop putting the final touches on all the toys he was planning on bringing to all the good little twinks all over the world for Christmas this year.
He had dildo’s, vibrators, whips, chains and many more goodies prepared for all those who hadn’t cheated without permission, lied about their status, catfished on Grindr or committed any of the other capital gay sins throughout the year.
Santa was about halfway through the nice list when suddenly the room filled with the deep smell of fucking an unwashed asshole.
A crater ripped itself into the floor of the workshop and smoke poured into the room, filling up every corner with a dark, thick haze.
Santa coughed and spluttered, covering his mouth with his gloved hand and using the other to try to see through the horrible darkness.
All of a sudden there was a thunderclap and an explosion in the middle of the glittery workshop that threw Santa back against the wall.
Out of the smoke stepped Belsnickle, Santa’s oldest rival and archenemy.
The smoke cleared from the room and Belsnickle cackled with glee like an old queen running over a twink with his jet-ski.
Santa gasped in shock, he couldn’t believe his old enemy had returned once more.
Belsnickle stepped forward out of the darkness,
“Hard at work making shitty trinkets for my shitty asshole?”
Santa slowly stood to his feet and shot a piercing glare at his old enemy,
“You aren’t putting your sweaty asshole on any of my beautiful toys.”
Santa was enraged by the audacity of Belsnickle to turn up like this in the North Pole unannounced.
“How are you even here?” Santa asked.
“I have magic preventing this.”
Belsnickle laughed again at Santa’s confusion, his eyes burned red as his smile spread like wildfire across his face,
“Do you really not remember?” Belsnickle asked with a deep wheeze.
Santa still looked confused, Belsnickle continued.
“You were given reign over the world for ten thousand years, after which rulership was to be turned over to me!”
Santa’s face lit up in horror as he remembered the Secret Magical Court ruling that had taken place at a time when the world was much younger.
“I was a young man when I agreed to that!”
Santa said, stammering,
“I was foolish, I fucked around a lot; I could barely hear anything at that court date past the hangover or the cum in my ears…”
“Nevertheless” Belsnickle cried out, cutting Santa off.
“You’ve had your turn, and now your time is up.
How could you have wasted all this time aging horribly up in the shittiest part of the world; shivering your ancient ass off while seven billion pigs live the high life down in the sunshine.”
Belsnickle began walking around the workshop, his footsteps burning holes into the floorboards, his dirty black cape leaving soot in his wake.
“How could you not have used this time to rule over the world properly?! You could have commanded the slobbering masses rather than sit up here sweat-shopping their shit!”
Santa stood up and looked Belsnickle square in the eye.
“We were not purposed to dictate life or call judgement; we were meant to serve.
We used to be the greatest of all creation, gays even named themselves after us fairies. How would they react if they knew what we’d become?”
“What you’ve become old man” Belsnickle spat an inch from Santa’s nose, his mouth dripping with saliva, his eyes burning with rage.
“You’ve ruined the fairy name, you sat up here ballooning in weight and turning yourself into the world’s pet Coca-Cola mouthpiece.”
“I will not sit here and listen to anymore shit from you” Santa said, making a claw-shaped motion with his hand. Sparkles began to materialize around his fingers as magic formed in the air around them.
“Oh my god, that is the gayest shit I’ve seen in a thousand fucking years” Belsnickle groaned as Santa pulled his hands apart and the room shook around them.
A blackhole ripped the air an inch from Belsnickle, sucking him into it and out of the room. Wind whipped furiously through the workshop and dildo’s flew everywhere.
Santa braced himself and wrapped his arm around a nearby pole before clapping his hands together. Immediately the black hole slammed shut and vanished. The room quietened down immediately and everything was still.
“I’m fucked” Santa said out loud to no-one.
This book will make a fantastic stocking stuffer for the gay Christmas elves in your family and friendship circle.
It’s a lighthearted, funny book full of jokes and gay references that any LGBTQ reader will love.
It’s also got sex scenes and some very descriptively written sexual acts. Everything the Holiday Season needs! Buy it now for yourself, or as an UNFORGETTABLE gift!
Buy it here on Amazon for yourself or a loved one! – Click Here to redirect to Amazon